Monday, July 19, 2010

137

My "brand new baby" is nine months old now. I wanted to lose the weight before she was six months old, but it didn't happen, obviously. Otherwise I wouldn't be sitting on the computer right now. I would be out enjoying my skinny, toned body in a new swimsuit at the pool with my kids...c'est la vie.

I can only blame myself, and a little thing called postpartum depression. Ever heard of it? It's fun, let me tell you. All joking aside, I have been at its mercy for some time now. I finally went to see my doctor about three months ago. He prescribed Zoloft because it is the only antidepressant allowed for breastfeeding mothers. After two months of that, there was not a significant improvement. Mainly, I still felt weighed down by some unseen force. But that was right around the time that I weaned Alivia from breast milk, so my doctor switched me to Lexapro. After almost 4 weeks on this medicine, the verdict is still out. It can take quite some time for me to notice a difference. I'm still not feeling excellent.

But...I did notice some of my desire for exercise returning last week! I even found the Exercise & TV channel on Hulu to add a little variety to my at home workouts. Last week I found enough motivation within myself to try some cardio yoga and pilates. I discovered that my core has no strength whatsoever, but that's ok. I've been here before. The important thing is that I finally started. I think I worked out about 5 out of 7 days. It felt amazing to sweat and feel my muscles burning again. And even the resulting soreness was welcome. The fact that I was feeling something at all was a sign that I am getting better. I have felt numb for so long.

I still haven't found the will to improve my diet significantly. I still eat like I'm nursing a baby. Unfortunately, that's not working out so well. After the birth, I quickly lost about 30 lbs, and my weight held steady at 132 lbs for seven months. But since I weaned, I've gained 5 lbs. I need to nip that in the bud! Or should I say nip that in the butt...literally.

So, along with my new exercise routine, I'm going to try and count points again like I did in previous weight loss ventures. Otherwise, I eat WAY more than I should and eat foods that I shouldn't. My goal weight is 115 lbs (or less if I can manage it) and I plan to lose it by October 20th. That's Alivia's 1st birthday. So...22 lbs to lose in three months (13 weeks). That's 1-2 lbs per week. I can do it!!! So here's my starting stats:

Starting Weight: 137 lbs
Measurements (inches):
Arm: 12
Waist: 32
Belly: 40
Hips: 41
Thigh: 24
Calf: 14